Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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