his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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