For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
