It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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