come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
