That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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