perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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