I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she peed on how many people?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
