Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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