Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
they're like a gay fantastic four
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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