Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
