i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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