When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
