found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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