Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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