obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
time to smoke my breakfast
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
