hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
