I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She said her name was "party"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize