doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
