Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
