Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize