Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
