What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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