6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
