I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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