This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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