im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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