Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
