this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
