i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
