I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
