Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
