I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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