hell yes lets make some ravioli
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
