the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
