i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize