It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
