my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Your cock deserves a montage
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
