you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
