it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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