would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
MIDGETS
????
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
