It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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