i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize