I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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