You're completely useless in the revolution.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
