Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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