i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
