i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
