In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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