she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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