the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
