And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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