in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Randomize
