Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
