i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
