i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize