I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
