i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
