i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
