So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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