My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
