If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize