Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
