Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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