'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
