To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
